Lost in Tr@nsl8ion

Translation is not easy. It is even harder when it involves specialized language. 

For one of my last language school projects, I presented a poem I had written as a critique of adolescent use of internet dating and short-hand chatroom vocabulary. 

The only issue was that I needed to translate into French. So after hours researching French texting lingo. Here's the original and the French "translation" side by side:

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<3 sugary sweet sara <3 says:                                  

i met my bf 2day                                                      
@ cupid.com
that's y i couldn't talk 2 u  b4
i said 2 him, how r u? want 2 im?

@ cupid.com
i could c my bf pic ;-) lol
i said 2 him, how r u? want 2 im
on msn

i could c my bf pic ;-) lol
i couldn't stop :-)ing
on msn
omg he is like sooo hott

i couldn't stop :-)ing
@ the hottest guy on the www
omg he is like sooo hott
i <3ed him already

the absolutely hottest kewlest guy on the www said g2g, cya
i asked y
i <3ed him already
bc idk

i asked y
i was soooo :-( he was offline, I wanted 2 :’(
bc idk
omg is that him?

i was soooo :-( he was offline…jk
that's y i couldn't talk 2 u b4
omg! it is him! he says hi :-0 ttyl
i met my bf 2day

<3 sara super sucrée <3 dit:

G rencontré 1 mek auj
@ cupid.com
C pr ça ke j ne pouvé pa te parlé avan
J l8 é di slt komencava ?  TOQP ? parlo

@ cupid.com
J pouvé voir son foto  mdr ;)
J l8 é di, slt komencava ?  TOQP ? parlo
sur msn

J pouvé voir son foto  mdr ;)
j ne pouvé pa aréT  2 J
sur msn
omd il è oZ

j ne pouvé pa aréT  2 J
@ Le mec le + oZ sur le net
omd il è oZ
J l8 é déjà di jtm 

le mec le + oZ sur le net m’a dit g2g @+
G  2manD Pkoi
J l8 é déjà di jtm
PK jnsp

G  2manD Pkoi
j’éT tllmt L Kil éT DconnecT. J voulé :’(
PK jnsp
omd C l8 ?

j’éT tllmt L Kil éT DconnecT… j'dec
C pr ça ke j ne pouvé pa te parlé avan
omd C l8 !  il di slt :O @+
G rencontré 1 mek auj

For those of you who know French, here is the key for understanding the texting language:

<3 = un cœur, aimer
G = J’ai
1 = un
mek = garçon
auj = aujourd’hui
@ = à
C = c’est
pr = pour
ke = que
jJ= je
pouvé = pouvais
pa = pas
parlé = parler
avan = avant
l8 = lui
é = ai
di = dit
slt = Salut
komencava ? : Comment ça va ?
TOQP ? : T’es occupé ?
parlo = Parlons

foto : photo
mdr = mort de rire
aréT = arrêter2 = de
omd = Oh mon dieu !
è = est
oZ = osé
+ = plus
net = Internet
jtm = Je t’aime
g2g = je dois partir
@+ = à plus
2manD = demandé
Pkoi = Pourquoi ?
PK = parce que
jnsp = je ne sais pas
j’éT = j’étais
tllmt = tellement
Kil = qu’il
DconnecT = déconnecté
voulé = voulais
j'dec = je déconne